Chez Shaffner

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Shaffner’s Game One Blog

Since it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, I figured why not go for broke with a ten-page running diary of World Series game one… Works for Bill Simmons over at ESPN, so why not for me?

11:27 AM

I learn for the first time that has a daily drawing for tickets and enter with every email address I have. Every five minutes for the rest of the day, I refresh my web browsers. Not even a “sorry, you didn’t win.”

3:51 PM
Get out of my last meeting for the day and somehow talk myself into buying a ticket for the game. $300 for Standing Room Only sounds perfectly reasonable, doesn’t it? I check with my colleagues; they’re not convinced.

3:52 PM
Check on StubHub – how about 525 for SRO? Hm. Got a wedding to plan, so I couldn’t possibly spend that much.

4:40 PM
What about old reliable Craigslist? Lots of people asking for tickets at face value—I’m tempted to email a few and see what kind of luck they’re having.

5:01 PM
What do I have to lose? I post an offer on Craigslist, but nobody bites.

6:25 PM
Arrive home and talk to Keryn. I confess that I’m tempted to see what scalpers are offering come game time. She convinces me to go to the gym and then see how I feel later on… Don’t know how she manages not to tell me what a raving lunatic I am for suggesting that scalping tickets is a good idea in this or any other universe… God knows that I’d fret and worry for weeks afterward over that $300; especially when our next payment to the Sebasco comes due…

6:52 PM – 7:30 PM
The gym is empty. Somehow I manage to motivate myself through 3.5 miles. Takes me 26 minutes, which is about as long as it takes Dice-K to record three outs when he’s pitching well.

Finally have sold myself on watching from my comfy couch, where it’s dry, climate-controlled. The beer’s a lot cheaper too.

That is quite an intro for John Williams… The epitome of our culture, no less. Beats the hell out of having Fergie ruining the anthem.

Heard the planes over my apartment before I heard them through my speakers. It is always a little eerie for me to watch something on TV that’s only a quarter-mile from my front door. Years ago, I was walking with my parents toward my apartment after visiting a nearby museum. As we neared my building, a giant roar emanated from our left. Flipped open my phone and learned Derek Lowe had just finished his no-hitter. If I stick my head out my living room window I’ll hear the reaction to a Papi homerun (knock on wood).

Joe Buck says it’s a cold night in Boston? I just returned from the gym thinking “this is some kind of October 25th… global warming is sweet!”

The great American lager on the TV, the great American lager on my coffee table. But of course I’m immune to advertising; I simply love the taste.

I’ve been amazed these last few weeks how calm Beckett looks out there. Like there’s no giant weight on his shoulders… Hell of a pitch to get Taveras. Damn.

Kaz Matsui… I bet my buddy Paul Magyar loves this guy. .256 career average with the Mets, .301 with the Rocks. He’s the Mets’ Renteria. Hell of a cut he just took at strike three.

Everything I know about these Rockies comes from bathroom review of Sports Illustrated. One series was enough for me, so I didn’t stay up for those 10pm NL games. So far I’ve seen three quick strikeouts. Gotta love Josh Beckett – 6 minutes and we’re watching a Chevy Malibu commercial.

I LOVE Dustin Pedroia and swear that I never once called for his ouster back in April.

I have never once insinuated under my breath or in a string of expletives that J.D. Drew was a waste of $70 million. 3-0.

No-hitter and shutout disappear in two quick minutes. Three years ago I’d be tearing handfuls of hair from my scalp. Instead I’m going back to the Papa John’s box for another slice of pizza. Broken bat and we’re out of the inning.

Dane Cook annoys the ever living #$%@ out of me. And that’s all I have to say about that. Though I heard a rumor that in 2049 there will be two Octobers. Little known fact.

This umpire has the best strike three flourish I think I’ve ever seen. Do you think that they compare notes during umpire school? Do they encourage standardization but allow the naturals to do it however they damn well please?

It’s decided: I’m ponying up for the Youkilis replica jersey at the Souvenir Store for next year. That score-from-first business is something you expect from Jacoby Ellsbury, not YOUUUKKKK. Good stuff.

Just noticed Manny’s new hat. Wonder whether it pisses off some of the more superstitious types that they have to switch to the WS-branded caps. If Timlin sees action this week, I’m going to miss the white sweat marks on his hat brim.

This news about Pedroia and Francona playing cribbage has been fascinating for me. No, really! Perhaps it will launch a renaissance of the game. Next think you know, they’ll be showing it on ESPN. Having grown up with the game and catching wayward glances anytime I mentioned the game to my friends, I’m holding out hope for the Cribbage World Series.

Back in 2003 when we were forced to listen to Dave Justice in the FOX booth referring to Oakland’s Tim Hudson as “Huddie” I was quite convinced that McCarver and Buck were more than a little biased against my Sox. It seemed even worse during the ALCS that year, when the boys fell over themselves talking about the Yankees’ dynasty, the Curse of the Bambino, yadda yadda yadda. But this whole post season I’ve been keenly aware that if these guys weren’t my team, I’d want to slit McCarver’s throat. I think he’s infatuated with Manny.

How can you not love the Country Bear Jamboree going on in the Sox bullpen? And just like clockwork, their music-making yields an RBI-double.

I don’t envy Francona for the upcoming decision whether to bench Youk or Papi. No matter which choice he makes a subset of the Nation will give him hell. Unless we win the series while we’re in Colorado, in which case it won’t matter. In the last five minutes, blabbering to myself in the privacy of home, I’ve managed to convince myself that maybe they should start Hinske instead. Just to mix things up.

McCarver is showing his man-love for Manny.

Not fifteen minutes ago I told Keryn that if the game became a true blow-out – ten-run lead or more – then I might head to bed around midnight whether the game was over or not… We’re up to eight runs and I’m not sure I can actually drag myself away from the low-def TV.

Let me put this in the official record: I swear before the blog gods that if the Sox ditch Mike Lowell and sign A-Rod I’ll never forgive them. Won’t buy any tickets next year. Will block NESN from my cable box. Will stash my Sox gear under the bed. With that rant done, here we go Red Sox, here we go.

…and we’ve reached my ten-run threshold. Hold on… Did Joe Buck just say “no more beautiful blimp?” Anyway, I was thinking earlier about what a city of zombies Boston was going to be on Friday morning. Maybe not with scores like this.

Did they really need to show the Buckner play really?

I could have lived without knowing that Tulowitzki wears Derek Jeter-branded cologne.

Is this 2003/2004 Mike Timlin I’m watching out there? Three-up, three-down. (Also, looks like that World Series log must be an iron-on patch, because Timlin’s hat looks every bit the stained disaster we know and love).

I’m dying to know what this Aquos TV commercial looks like in other markets. Do they see the red Ted Williams seat photograph? Who takes a hack on the TV itself?

Not Gagné!! Say it isn’t so!

I’ll be damned… Game one in the bag, ending with a Gagné strikeout. Onward to Schilling and Game Two!


At 7:41 PM, Blogger Veritas99 said...

You gotta let us know before you do a live blog so we can follow along in the comments.


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