Here’s a half-jesting plea to the pharmaceutical companies: can you devise a pill, elixir, or shot that will get a song unstuck from my head? I know that I'm not alone in facing this dire life challenge. (I mean, if it made it to WebMD, that makes it a legit medical condition, doesn't it?)
Think about how much it costs America when folks can’t shake awful songs from their brains. Lost productivity, increased potential for rage, infecting surrounding co-workers with their disease… Now, some of you might read this and say: “there you go, Shaffner, exaggerating again.” Well, all I can say is that you’re not in my head right now, so you don’t know the pain I’m suffering.
Going on four days now, what’s replaying in my head? How about the McDonald’s “Dollar Menu-naires” jingle. Why does it always have to be something so loathsome and irritating? That commercial annoys the shit out of me, and now…I can’t…escape…its clutches…must eat $1 cheeseburgers…
I suppose that’s the sign of an effective commercial: stirring strong emotions and slinking into viewers’ brains despite their vehement objections. It may be physically impossible to watch the NFL doubleheader (CBS or FOX) on Sunday without at least once humming that infernal Chevrolet advertisement. You know the one.
But why can’t I ever, just once, find a song stuck in my head that I actually enjoy? Why not Beethoven? Or the Allman Brothers? Or Cowboy Mouth? Or Imogen Heap? Let me give you a glimpse into two recent afflictions:
I plead to you today, Pfizer, GlaxoSmithKline, AstraZeneca: give me hope.
Just READING this got the Timberlake song started in my head. Nooo!
Good luck with your novel. The premise sounds intriguing.
01-15-2007: Contacted first agent with my novel.
01-06-2007: Revamped home page launched!
Send your thoughts:
jason@jasonshaffner.com