Chez Shaffner

Saturday, November 25, 2006

No Excuses, Mr. Shaffner

The first draft of today’s blog began with a litany of excuses for my recent Internet silence… First, I blamed the recent, vicious side effects of L-Tryptophan in that Thanksgiving turkey. Then, I blamed the process of reconfiguring my bachelor pad to accommodate another inhabitant. Next, I blamed Baltimore-Washington International and the delays (and corresponding frustration) that led us to rent a car and drive eight hours up I-95 all the way to Boston. Fourth, I blamed the new Brooklyn-Style Pizza from Domino’s. Fifth, I blamed the Patriots and my inability to cope when they lose. And finally, I blamed Emmitt Smith for winning Dancing With The Stars. That was too weird for me to handle.

Fortunately, after twaddling on for five hundred words, I stopped writing and demanded a re-write. “No excuses, Mr. Shaffner,” I said. “Excuses are for the weak.” I’m not weak; I’m lazy, and all the Outlook alerts in the world are not going to change that.

I’ve had a lot going on these last few weeks, but such a flurry should have proven fertile ground for blogging. To pay my penance to those twelve readers who check the blog each day and weep upon finding the content unchanged, I pledge a daily post for the next two weeks. I’ll be impressed if I follow through.

Quick recap of the last month: the aforementioned move-in, completed on Thanksgiving morning, was huge (and exciting). I have this to say, however: as much as I love assembly-required furniture, don’t permit me within a hundred yards of lettered panels and cam-locks for six months or I might snap. We were in Baltimore (twice), Western Mass, Syracuse (NY), Delaware, Maine, and the whole length of New Jersey. During our most recent trip to the Mid-Atlantic, I remembered that I would rather find myself stranded in Dulles, O’Hare, LAX, Logan… Anywhere but BWI with its $7.69 bottles of water. Keryn and I visited thirty-odd high schools (actually, while she visited, I sat in the car writing my novel on this trusty Dell XPS). We watched skates and sharks frolic in the National Aquarium. My sister bought a house outside Portland (ME) and hosted Thanksgiving, proving, once and for all, that any skepticism I may have shown toward her cooking was grossly misguided (she indeed cooks a mean bird). I enjoyed the hell out of Bright Lights, Big City and caught up on a pile of partially finished New Yorkers. Perhaps most incredibly, I inched within twenty pages of the end of my novel, and am hoping to polish it off before Christmas (allowing me the ultimate cop-out Xmas gift of all, a gift-wrapped manuscript copy for Mom and Dad… Shhh…). Three weeks ago, Keryn and I saw the strangest musical show I’ve ever seen: Imogen Heap, Kid Beyond, and Levi Weaver at Avalon. Last weekend, we watched from the nosebleed seats while Yale destroyed Harvard at The Game. And how can I neglect to mention watching the Arlington High School performance of Much Ado About Nothing? November has been a wild and crazy month…

Anyway, that’s my disorganized rant for today. Be back tomorrow to talk about the Imogen Heap show from three weeks ago… (better late than never).